1) I will NOT have my assistant director be a lead teacher in a room. Reasoning? Because its too stressful for the rest of the employees. They feel as if they are being constantly watched, have no control over the room, and are constantly being undermined by the “higher” authority. Plus, it makes her an automatic bitch. And no one wants to work with a bitch.
2:) My employees would be free from the bitching about the tiniest thing going wrong. No time for art today? Who the fuck cares. Potties aren’t done in a half hour after nap? Who the fuck cares. Kid’s are being kids like they are supposed to (gasp!)? Who the fuck cares. They are kids. Not tiny adults. They will throw temper tantrums. They will cry. They will not want to sit still for a whole 20 minutes. Again, who the fuck cares.
3:) Complaints about other employees will be taken seriously. Since my assistant director will not be a direct teacher, this will eliminate half the problem. I will not be biased towards one certain employee. I will listen to each complaint and concern sincerely. I know what it feels like to be on the other end. I will know the raging bitch session going on inside their heads. Working on the problem is important. A happy employee equals happy kiddos.
4:) My structure will be a relaxed structure. Kiddos needs a set schedule, however…if that schedule ends up being 5 to 10 minutes behind- big whoop. Everyone will get over it and survive. There is no need to get undies in a royal bunch over it for Pete’s sake. Time is as easily gained as it is lost.
5:) Art time will be FUN. No day after day after day of painting. There will be messiness and gooyness and awesomeness involved. Parent’s will WANT to keep the projects after they are sent home.
*Side note: If paint ends up in their hair…who the fuck cares. If it ends up alllll over the table…who the fuck cares. If it happens to end up on the wall one day…clean it up and get the fuck over it.
6:) I will trust my employees. There is a reason I hired them. They know what they are doing. If they need redirection or help, I will provide it in a friendly manner. I will not let my husband bitch at them for doing something “wrong”. I will not forget to say “please” and “thank-you”. I will remember they are human beings with feelings…just like me.
7:) I will tell my husband to mind his own fucking business. The center is MY place of business. Him being there for 5 or 10 minutes every so often does NOT give him the power to boss around my employees. This will also avoid unnecessary stress on the employees. They do not need to be talked to like imbeciles. They have brains that think. They have hearts that feel. And no one, I repeat NO ONE deserves to feel like they are in inadequate piece of shit every time he walks in the door.
8:) I will adhere to the state’s food program regulations…however my kiddos will receive more than 3 tater tots for lunch. The minimum will not be accepted. Kids grow and need fuel to grow. 3 fucking tater tots isn’t going to cut it. Plus it’s just plain mean-spirited. How would you like it if you only received 3 tater tots? I don’t think you’d like it very much either. ‘Nuff said.
9:) Collaboration is a must. Employees must know that they can depend on one another. If one room wants to borrow a book for circle time….good. I will let them. If they want to plan their own curriculum for that weeks theme…I will let them. I will not threaten to withhold their raises if they do not go over it with the assistant director. They can turn it in when finished and we can go over it together. If they wants to plan with the assistant director, I will let them. As long as it gets planned and planned correctly…who the fuck cares. Also if employees get to know one another by working together, a camaraderie will form and that is important in having fun at work. Work should be fun…not a stressful pain in the ass.
10:) Finally…I will pay my employees what they DESERVE to be paid. These are children’s lives in their hands. Not many people can handle 20+ children for 8 to 9 hours a day. It’s stressful, it’s hectic and they deserve to be paid for putting up with it all. None of this measly minimum wage shit. They have to live too. They have families they want to start. They have bills to pay. The have DREAMS. And I want to be enable them to be able to live comfortably without worry.
If I was boss….