Ah, it’s Monday already.
My weekend was…interesting.
I’ll start from Friday.
Work was lovely.
I hardly worked and rediscovered my love for classic rock.
Why the hell haven’t I been listening to Skid Row?!
I’ve also become obsessed with Warrant.
I have watched and rewatched the music video for Cherry Pie and the cheasiness of it gets me every.single.time.
But it’s still SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!
Mmmm, but my favorite song has got to be Down Boys. Give it a listen if you are into awesome classic rock songs by awesome classic rock bands.
After work, I mosied on home to meet up with my best friend whom I hadn’t seen since July.
We went out to eat at a mexican restaurant where I happily slurped a cactus rose margarita.
I’m not much of a drinker.
One margarita or a glass of wine makes my cheeks all rosy and flushed and I get very very talkative.
It’s like one of those little mechanical horsey rides outside of grocery stores.
Relatively quiet until someone sticks a quarter in the damn thing.
So I was jib jabbering away and laughing.
When it happened.
It happens every now and then.
I can never predict when.
I hate it when it does.
So I’m sitting there laughing when SNORT.
And it’s not just a little polite hiccup of a snort.
It’s a VERY loud snort.
The one where everything gets quiet for a few seconds and everyone turns about to look at you.
Sooooo we grab our stuff and scadaddle the heck out of there.
Off to the movies.
Went and saw 50/50.
Very good film.
I was a little nervous about Seth Rogen since I’m not usually a fan of his humor, but he fit the role of the best friend very well.
I was pleasantly surprised.
Anyways, we walk into the theater and it’s an older crowd.
Except for the row in front of us.
4 teenage boys.
In a sad movie about cancer.
They were high.
No doubt about that one.
There was one kid in particular that I wouldn’t have minded shoving my shoe up his ass.
He was wearing a too large flat bill hat.
I hate flat bill hats.
You look stupid.
No, not even turning it around will improve its look.
You will still look stupid.
And he had these weird thick black glasses on that looked like the glass lenses were taken out of.
As we were talking and laughing before the movie started, he kept throwing his head back to look at us like a horse trying to nip a fly.
It started to get on my nerves.
I already hate being stared at.
It’s especially annoying when you are in a dark theater with the seats only facing one way…the way your head is supposed to stay.
Keep your head turned forward you little creep.
So the movie progresses and right at the first teary eyed part, this kid gets up, and walks by our row.
AE (my friend) was sitting in the last seat at the end of the row (thank god for small favors) and he would have had to crawl over the both of us to sit.
So he kind of stood there all awkwardly with his knees and elbows bent like a crooked stork.
I turned away from the movie to glare at him for a couple of seconds (he was ruining my movie god dammit).
He slunk back to his row, sat back down, and kept throwing his head back.
I tried my best to ignore him and when the movie was at a slow point I whispered to AE that as soon as the movie ended, we were bolting out of there before Mr. Creep decided he wanted to grace us with his superb conversational skills.
I’m proud to say, I only tripped once.
Fast forward to Saturday.
I get up at 11am.
Don’t judge me.
I was up until 1 reading One For The Money by Janet Evanovich (gooood series. rereading them since a movie is comin out soon).
So I wake up, my eyes are droopy.
Shower and get ready on autopilot.
Drive to the mall to meet my MammaK and sister Canadine.
Walk around blinking every .25 seconds.
Say f*ck it and go to Caribou for a chai latte (yuuummmmmm).
That perks me up a bit and now I’m ready for some shopping action!
Go to Macy’s for Canadine to find a coat.
I try on this super duper cute houndstooth one.
If I take it home and find that it gets harassed by the t-shirts, jeans, and hoodies in my closet, I would take it back.
Returns are ok……for people who don’t feel guilt.
I feel guilt.
But I promised myself that this time, I would grow some steel balls and take it back if I didn’t like it.
Get up to the counter.
Comment on the ladies nails (they were very elaborately Halloween themed decorated. her spiders even had eyeballs for Pete’s sake).
I asked her if she had the right coat.
Yep. It was already on sale, and then an extra 20% off the sale price.
Bought it with a smile.
Pick up the BF to pick up ingredients to make Halloween Puppy Chow.
Buy the stuff.
Get home and start makin the puppy chow.
Turn on 103.7 The Loon and start shakin my butt while stirrin the mix.
It comes time to shake the powdered sugar over it all and Cherry Pie comes on.
Ohhhh yeah baby.
I shake that bowl while dancing around the living room.
The Cat from Hell just sits and blinks at me from the window sill.
Puppy Chow is made.
Now to get ready for a night of horror.
The plan was to go to JB’s house for some snackies and Paranormal Activity, then mosey on down to Moliter’s Haunted Acres.
Moliter’s is an outside based theme park.
So this is my packing list for these sorts of activities:
Leggings to go under my jeans.
Two arm warmers.
Pair of mittens.
I am a firm believer in layers.
Aaaaaaannnnnd I usually end up looking like Randy from the Christmas Story when he couldn’t put his arms down.
So I pack all of this in my awesome grocery saving bag and off we go.
Get to JB’s place and they are just about to start Paranormal Activity.
I hate that movie.
It’s not the scary stuff when you’re watching it that scares me, it’s thinking about it when laying in bed later that night that terrifies me.
I grab my plate full of my yummy puppy chow and tensely watch the movie.
Thank. The. Freaking. Lord.
Now it’s time to get my snowman gear on.
Shove on everything and waddle out the door.
Get to Moliters and wait in line for 2 flippin hours.
I paid $15 to wait in line for 3 hours and 10 minutes of horrifying fun.
They had a country music station there to keep everyone entertained.
Now this would have been fine.
Except the announcer lady was stupid.
She played very sloooooooooooooooowwwwwwww sappy country songs.
Not exactly the type of music you want to listen to at 10 at night while waiting f.o.r.e.v.e.r. in line.
I swear I must have yawned at least 1,000 times.
Waitings over and we get on the hay ride.
Hay Ride Rules: The Monsters and Ghouls May Touch You. You May Not Touch Them Back.
This should be changed to: The Monsters and Ghouls May Touch You. You May Punch Them Back- In The Face. Gonads Are Fine Too.
We get going and I’m doing fine. Only letting out a few screams here and there.
This monster guy jumps on the wagon and get all up in my face.
So I naturally clutch the BF’s arm tighter and shove my face into his coat sleeve.
This monster wasn’t giving up.
He ran his hand up my leg and nuzzled my neck.
It was like some weird beginning to a soft core porn scene: Scared little girl getting nuzzled and felt up by a dude in a Halloween mask.
Not. My. Favorite.
He finally leaves me alone and moves on the next helpless girl.
Hay ride ends and we get off to wait another hour in line for the Haunted House and Mazes.
I get the luck of being the last one in.
You know the last ones always get picked off right?
I have never been touched, groped at, or more scared in my life.
Those ghastlies, ghouls, and ghosties were on a mission.
Get Miss Delightful.
And this weekend…
I get to go through it all again.
Except this time it will be me dodging and screaming and running away from…
Ghastly sluts and whores in too tight of costumes.
Happy Halloween Little Kiddies.