Parental Control

Because I don’t have kids, I feel like I can gripe about other people’s children.

What the hell has happened in the last ten years?

It’s like parents are afraid to discipline their children.

Let me tell you from first hand experience…

Time outs don’t do shit.

Kids think they are funny.

Sticking them in their room?

Yeeahhh, let’s put the kid in his room where aaaaaaallll of his awesome toys are to try and teach him that hitting is bad.

Not gonna work mommy dearest.

What I want to know is where did all this fear and guilt come from?

I think some of it comes from the family situation…such as the two families I am going to complain about today.

The first is the family I babysit for twice a week.

The kids are from two different daddies and the mommy is single.

The little girl, SM’s dad is still in the picture.

Her older brother BB’s is not.

SM gets everything handed to her under the sun.

And now that she’s old enough to realize this, she capatalizes on it like Lindsay Lohan does on fame.

Mommy, I want some candy.
Mommy, I want BB’s stickers.
Mommy, I want some milk. Now.
Mommy, I want Playdoh.
Mommy, I want that toy.

I want. I want. I want.

That’s all that ever comes out of that girl’s mouth.

And her mom’s reaction is to give, give, give.

The mom feels bad saying no when SM’s daddy lets her have candy for lunch and dinner, buys her a new toy every time she stays over, bought her a kitty during one of her hissy fits, and tells her it’s ok to hit people (he’s an evil man-smokes in the car when SM’s in the back amongst other evil things (video cameras, name calling, etc…).

When her mom says No, SM screams and cries until she gets it.

The screaming and crying abruptly stops once it’s in her hands.

Not me.

I go about things a wee bit differently.

SM: I want some candy.
Me: SM, I’m sorry. You cannot have candy until you finish your dinner. If you make a happy plate, you may have candy for snack in a few hours.

SM: WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII Throws her fork on the ground, gets on the floor and continues to scream and cry and wail.

Me: SM, when you are done having your hissy fit, you may get up, sit back down and join me and BB while finishing your dinner.

SM: Throws her hissy fit for a little bit and quiets down when she notices no one is going to pay her any attention. She gets up, sniffles a bit, sits down and finishes her dinner.

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

SM:  I want BB’s stickers.

Me: SM, you may have some of BB’s stickers if you ask him nicely and say please. I know BB will share with you. But, you have to ask first. We don’t take other people’s stickers.

SM: BB, will you share some of your stickers with me?

Me: Say please.

SM: Please.

BB: Okay. You can have some of my superman stickers sister.

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

SM: I want some milk. Now.

Me: Say please.

SM: No, I want my milk. NOOOOWWWWW!!!

Me: Not until you say please.

SM: Throws herself to the ground and starts kicking and pounding the carpet and crying.

Me: SM, please stop kicking and hitting the ground. It’s quiet time and you will wake the neighbors.

SM: Continues on kicking and pounding.

Me: SM, I will count to three and if you do not stop, I will have to put you in the corner (much more effective than a time out on the couch).

Me: 1. 2…….3.

She doesn’t listen.

So I pick her up, carry her to the corner, plop her down and stand in front of her.

She tries to get up and get past me, but my legs are blocking her.

This makes her even more angry and starts screaming to go along with her crying.

Me: SM, I will let you out of the corner as soon as you are calm enough to ask for your milk using your big girl words ok?

SM: Nods.

Me: And you cannot kick or pound on the floor. It’s quiet time and that time means we have to use our indoor voices and toesies ok?

SM: Hiccuphs and nods again.

Finally after about 5 minutes she starts to calm down.

SM: Can I have some milk please?

Me: Yes, you can. Would you like to help me pour it?

She’s all smiles now.

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

SM: I want Playdoh.

Me: I’m sorry SM, you cannot play with Playdoh tonight since we are doing stickers.

She gets “the look” on her face and storms off to her room.

Pretty soon I hear the beginnings of yet another tantrum.

This time I ignore her and tell BB to ignore her as well.

When she was done crying and throwing her fit, she would come out and play with stickers with us.

Until then, we were going to ignore her so that she would learn that throwing a fit wouldn’t get her what she wanted anymore.

Ten minutes later she came out and asked politely if she could play stickers with us.

Progress!

—————————————————————————————————————————————-

SM: I want that toy!

She goes over and hits BB before taking his toy.

BB naturally starts crying.

His sister hit him AND took his toy.

I would cry too.

I was proud of him for not hitting her back.

So I go over, take the toy from SM who starts screaming and crying (again).

I give it back to BB and go back over to SM.

I tell her that it’s not okay to hit other people when you want something or that it’s not okay to take other people’s toys.

Me: SM, would you like it if I came over here and took your baby from you when you were playing with her?

SM: Sniffles out a no.

Me: How would you feel if I did that?

SM: Mad. I was playing with her first.

Me: So you would feel mad and a little hurt if I took baby from you?

SM: Yes.

Me: That is how BB feels when you hit him or take his toys. Do you want BB to feel mad or sad at you?

SM: No.

Me: What are you going to do if you want to play with his toy next time?

SM: Ask him….and say please.

Huzzah!

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

I battled her like this for the first two months I babysat. After that, she started to improve.

She still has her tantrums.

And I still ignore them.

But at least I get my Please’s and Thank You’s.

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

Now this next little girl is just terrible. She is just one of those kids I instantly disliked (and this in itself is rare, I absolutely love kids).

I know it’s not entirely her fault. I hate her daddy too. He’s a very bad influence. He’s a wannabe boxer.

Her family is also split between her dad and her mom.

This girl, A, is a chubby, smart ass, mean spirited kid.

She’s a bully.

And I hate bullies.

No matter what age you are.

She only eats food that has a high fat content (think processed foods).

Throws a royal fit whenever she has to eat something she doesn’t want (ah hem would a vegetable kill this kid, i think not).

For example.

This past Sunday was the BF’s nephews birthday party.

The birthday boy wanted cheesy eggs instead of the sloppy joes his G’ma made him (this is a seperate issue ha).

And naturally A threw a screaming fit when she didn’t get cheesy eggs as well.

So she was made cheesy eggs.

When all the other kids finished their sloppy joes, she wanted to be done.

G’ma said no, she had to finish the eggs that were made special for her.

She sassed back.

You. Do. Not. Sass. Your. Grandma.

G’ma laid down the law.

A grudgingly ate her eggs.

Then it was present time.

The birthday boy started opening his presents and was having fun being the center of attention.

A went about asking where her presents her.

Mind you, this girl is 7 years old.

She should know by now how birthdays work.

She throws a fit that none of the presents are for her.

Embarrassing.

All the presents are open.

One of them was this build a castle toy.

So they open the box and start putting the castle together.

There is another little boy there who put his dinosaurs on the other side of the floor and left them there while he was building the bridge.

A told him to grab his dinosaurs.

He didn’t want them right now.

So she pushed him.

Twice.

I scolded her. (Yes, in front of everyone. Pushing is not ok.).

She went behind the couch and sulked.

Her dad started to go over to her to make her “feel better”.

I asked him what he was doing.

He asked what A was doing behind the couch.

I said she was sulking because she was caught pushing the other little boy and was looking for attention and that he should let her sulk. She’d come out and play when she was done.

He looked all confused and stood there for a couple of minutes, then went and sat back down.

Whattya know. A couple of minutes later, she came out and played nice with the other kids.

A is kind of scared of me.

I’m sort of new to her life and so far she hasn’t been able to push my buttons like she can everyone else.

I’ve scolded her quite a few times prior to this incident and she has always listened.

The one time she didn’t listen, I got down on her level and in her face, and made her give me the squirt gun (she was shooting people in the face).

Miss Delightful does not take any shit from anyone.

No matter how old you are.

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About delightfulness

One sweet, quirky, delightful individual I am.
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