I. Feel. Like. Crap.
Slept like a rock last night.
Didn’t move from the spot I fell asleep in.
Ass end sticking out.
Head buried under the blanket.
Arms criss crossing this way and that.
What a beauty.
Woke up with eyes throbbing and throat thick.
I managed to glare at my alarm clock for so rudely interrupting my sleep.
What the hell was so important that it had to whine at me like a broken siren?
God. Damn. It.
So I blearily shut off the whine and sloooowwly drag myself to the shower.
I wash myself on autopilot.
Reach to shut off the water before I jolted back into reality.
Did I wash my hair?
Ever have this happen?
Damn. It. All. To. Hell.
I have two choices.
I could wash it again.
I could just say F it and hope I washed it.
I chose option #2.
Get out of shower and face the daunting task of choosing what to wear.
Screw heels today.
Threw on a pair of black skinny jeans (they can pass as dress pants right?) and some ruffly business shirt.
Good to go.
By this point I am soooooo tired that every time I blink, my eyelids stay shut for 2 seconds.
Makes putting on makeup a very big challenge.
After I get all gooped up, it’s time for hair.
My arms are so tired that I sit on the toilet seat to blow dry it.
By now I’m running 5 minutes behind.
I throw on underarm smelly stuff and a spritz of perfume and out the door I go.
I forgot my cell phone.
Run back in.
Grab the damn thing.
And get outside.
It rained last night.
Took another three minutes to scrape it all off.
What a difference 7 minutes makes.
Traffic sucked donkey balls.
I came up with some very creative swear words.
Get to work.
Walk in and a coworker says, Good Morning.
Usually I reply all bright and delightful and chirpy like with a Gooooood Morning!
Is all he got.
Repeat for another two coworkers.
Get to my desk.
And slam my head on the desk.
I am not ready for this today.
Underneath my desk is all dark and is starting to look veeeerrrryyy cozy.
That I need to go home and cuddle something.