Useless

Sometimes I feel like a lazy pile of poop.

At times sitting in my apartment watching some mindless show on Hulu, I think to myself that I could be out and about doing something.

Doing what?

I have no idea.

Just something though.

I feel like I’m not busy enough.

I work Monday through Friday 8 to 4:30.

Babysit Tuesday and Thursday nights from 9pm to 2am.

And volunteer Thursdays 5:30 to 7:30.

And it just seems like it’s not enough.

I think it’s because I’m restless.

There is absolutely nothing to do in this town except eat.

Or go to a movie.

I enjoy food, but jeepers.

With over 50 restaurants to choose from in one itty bitty town it’s enough to drive a non-decision person batty.

I hate choosing where to eat.

Being a Celiac kind of limits me so I would rather the other person pick what they want and then I will adapt.

Sometimes this means a lot of salads.

I may turn into a rabbit in the near future.

But seriously.

A couple of months ago me and the BF had seen every single movie in the local theater.

Pathetic.

And I love movies.

But sometimes too much is too much.

I want to volunteer more.

I want to move to a different city.

I want to be in the career of my choice.

But alas…

Volunteering in this town is like pulling teeth.

No one wants to call you back.

Everyone’s too busy to meet with you.

Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Must not really need help if you’re too “busy” to read through my application.

Thank God Anna Marie’s took the time and actually liked me enough to take me on.

Now I just have to get the VA and the Minnesota Center of Sexual Health on board the Delightfulness Express.

Or if I could just make enough monies to be able to move to a new city, I’d be jumping out of my undies ecstatic.

What city would I like to move to?

Portland please.

I visited there a couple of years ago to visit my bestest friend and fell in love.

I loved the dynamic of the city.

The way it felt.

The people.

The creative atmosphere.

And how everyone and their grandma had a dog.

(I really want a puppy…The Cat From Hell isn’t doin it for me-She’s Evil.)

I mean these people love their dogs so much that this one lady I met bought her dog fake doggy balls because she “felt bad that she took away his manhood.”

My kind of people.

Or maybe if I was in my career of choice I’d be happy to stay in one place.

But alas.

I am not.

Applying for grad school next fall.

But that’s a whole year away.

And then it’s two years more.

Then finally hopefully I’ll be ready to go.

It’s been a long road already.

Thought I had things figured out in college.

Spent 3 years completing an English degree.

Yeah…didn’t really think that one through.

Can’t really do much with an English degree unless you double major in Education.

Or take an internship.

Or have experience in marketing, copy writing, copy editing, newspapers, publishing…etc.

Me?

Just a few blips here and there.

I liked mainly poetry and literature.

I’m such a sap.

A sap without a brain.

Should be dating the Scarecrow.

But I guess I didn’t really figure out that social work was where I wanted to go until I started volunteering at Anna Marie’s…

Which was after I was out of college.

I guess these sorts of things take time.

And I’m damn impatient.

I lost that virtue when I was a little girl.

I wanted my nooki now.

I wanted to be at G’ma’s now.

I wanted my bedtime story now.

Waiting was not for me.

I’ve been trying to think of new things to do to keep myself interested/interesting.

Buuut I’ve pretty much exhausted my possibilities.

In the mean time…

I just hope no one puts me in a bag, lights me on fire and sets me on a doorstep.

Ding.

Dong.

SPLAT.

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About delightfulness

One sweet, quirky, delightful individual I am.
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9 Responses to Useless

  1. Ermilia says:

    Well, look at it this way, if you’re already volunteering and still restless, then you’re up far enough on Maslow’s Hierarchy to be trying to fill self-actualization. That is better than most of the world right now. I have a she-devil cat of my own. She liked me when I first got her but when I went off to college she pulled a Benedict Arnold, wrapped my dad around her tail and never looked back. Now I have a puppy who likes me… until I move out and she too will inevitably chose my parents. Sad, sad days. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not using my International Business and Japanese degree any more than you’re using your English degree.

    -Eliabeth

    • Seems to be the trend these days…our pets ditching us, having jobs that have no relation to our degrees…Ha. Ironic. I hope your puppy doesn’t switch loyalties! But I have had experience with that and know that they love the hand that feeds them. Darn puppies 😉 That’s one hell of a degree! International Business and Japanese. Jeepers. I’d guess that you’d probably have better luck finding a job in a different country. That may have to be an option for myself.

      • Ermilia says:

        With an English degree, you could always go teach English in Asia or something. In Sophie’s defense (the puppy) if she does become a traitorous turncoat, it’s because my mom is training her to be a therapy dog and letting her go to work with her. I probably don’t stand a chance but darn it, she still sleeps in my bed while I’m there.

  2. Java Girl says:

    A good friend of mine is living in Portland and therefore making me jealous of his little world over there. It’s a hip and trendy town which I love as well. I was up in Spokane, Washington and I loved it there too-the lifestyle is unlike any other place I’ve been to. They say, the farther West you go, the newer and trendier (and way of thinking) it is. Here in the NorthEast, people are still very traditional with their ways (think Hamptons). A nice long jog around a glorious park with your new dog will take some of that restlessness away.

    • Ahhhhh, we drove through Spokane. Such a pretty area. Portland is amazing and indeed hip and trendy. I absolutely love that they have a Saturday Market in the Spring/Summer. My friend had to literally drag me away. So much fun! I think that should be my new plan…try moving West. I’m not jivving with the whole “traditional” way anymore. Mmm, a nice long jog in this brisk air sounds like a lovely idea! Might just have to do that once work is over. =)

  3. Lafemmeroar says:

    No one would put you in a bag. With working and babysitting you’re too busy. You do need some mental downtime though … meditation maybe?

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