At long last…the BF


I know I have talked about my BF in previous posts, but haven’t really described him or why the hell I love the big oaf.

How It All Began:

It had been a few months after my ex and I broke up. I was working at Sam’s Club (terrible place to work) at the time and had noticed a few of the cute boys that worked there.

Didn’t really put much stock into it.

One day I was having a terrible time.

Rude customers. Bitchy coworkers. C word of a boss.

And it was the BF’s lunch time.

He came up to get his usual slice of pizza and soda (I worked in the Cafe).

He ordered Pepperoni and for some ungodly reason the words, “So you like it spicy eh?” popped out.

I was mortified.

My cheeks were on fire and everything seemed to freeze.

He burst out laughing and said, “Sometimes”.

And that’s when I began paying more attention to the BF.

He usually cashiered in front of me and after this encounter, my eyes wouldn’t stop straying to his derriere.


It was right there.

All the time.

Looking all yummy in his jeans and such.

I’m pretty sure my drool marks are still on the counter.


Well after a few weeks of talking to him here and there I decided to grab life by the balls.

So I get off work a couple of hours before he did and get in my car, grab my pen and paper and write a message.

“Hey, I’m not sure if you want to or not, but if you’re interested in seeing a movie or something, just let me know. Here’s my number 555-555-555. Signed, The Crazy Girl From The Cafe.”

Yes, I actually signed it like that.

God help me sometimes.

Then I got out of my car, walked to his, and put it on his windshield.

Stood there a couple of more seconds before running full blast to my car, jumping in, and careening out of the parking lot.

I get to the first stop light, and turn a Uie.

I drive back towards the parking lot, almost pull in but say “NO!” reeaaaalllly loudly and drive back onto the road towards the stop lights again.

Repeat 6 times.

I finally decide I need some help so I call my roommate, tell her what I had done and leave it up to her to talk me into leaving the note and coming home.

She succeeded.

So I get home and my tummy’s doing somersaults and cartwheels and I’m hyperventilating.

I need a distraction.

So me and the roomie go to Walmart.

I get in line and guess who gets in line behind me.

Yep, the BF.

I turn beet red and face forward while giggling randomly like an idiot.

I say hello with my back turned, pay for my stuff, and run out of the store.

I’m such a chicken shit.

Well he had a girl with him and my heart had sunk.

I was desolate.

I thought I was certain he didn’t have a girlfriend.

But I guess I didn’t bother to find out if he had a love interest.

So I’m moping the entire way home and sit down on the couch to watch some stupid comedy movie on TV when he texts me.

“Hey, this is M—-. How are you?”

So I’m getting all curious because he texted me, even though he has a girl interest…

So I say, “Hi, and good. How are you?”

And the texting goes on like that for a while.

Then he explains that the girl with him was his brother’s Girlfriend and he’d be delighted to hang out with me sometime.


The Aftermath:

For our first date, I took him to a carnival in my hometown…

That was 2.5 years ago.

And I am still head over heels for the goofball.

There’s this one thing that he does that is so damn fricken cute.

Every time he does it, my heart goes gallumphing around in my chest.

It’s when he is playing his video games.

He gets soooooo into the action that his body tenses up and then he alternatively bites his bottom lip and licks it.

He doesn’t even realize that he’s doing it.

And he can play his game for hours upon hours upon hours.

And there he sits, biting and licking his lip.

It’s sort of like what a little kid does when he or she is concentrating really hard.


So fricken cute!

And he makes the “Gerbil” face.

Not sure if ya’ll have seen the video.

Here I’ll post it so you know what I mean.

Dramatic Stare

He does it exactly like the little gopher.

Bulging side eyeball and everything.

There are some things he does that annoys the absolute shit out of me.

He leaves his socks by the couch.

They just quietly pile up throughout the week until  I can’t stand it anymore.

I scoop em up and deposit them in his clothes basket (truth be told, I don’t even look to see if it’s the clean or dirty basket. Ha, I’m evil sometimes).

And he has a strange aversion to the dishes.

Putting them in the sink when there’s ample room in the dishwasher.


And the biggest one of all…is that HE KNOWS EVERY FRICKEN PERSON IN THIS STATE.


He had a friend’s bachelor party out in the middle of the woods.

It was a 4 hour drive into them in the middle of bum f*ck nowhere.

They decide to go to the strip club in this little dinky town an hours drive from the cabin he was staying at.


And he meets people he knew from college.

For realsies.

And it’s not like this was an isolated incident either.

It happens all.the.damn.time.

But he makes it up by doing the shimmy when he’s walking to the couch to sit next to me.

Or eye balling my boobies.

Or cooing to the kitty.

Now add Bowser’s voice to all this…

And you’ve got my BF in a nutshell.






About delightfulness

One sweet, quirky, delightful individual I am.
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6 Responses to At long last…the BF

  1. Java Girl says:

    I love tats on guys! Funny, how you high tailed it out of the parking lot! I’m a little shy when it comes to guys I like, but I give hints here and there hoping they actually get the hint! Wow, 2.5 years! I just got out of a 3 year relationship, but the exbf and I are still close friends. Great post and funny as usual!!

    • I love his tattoos. He has a wicked one on his upper arm of Zeus and the mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans. He’s planning on adding Pegasus to the lower half of the sleeve. =) I have a few myself. They’re addictive! Relationships are hard. I’m glad you and your ex are still close. I have a few in my past that didn’t quite work out that way. It’s sad.

  2. sparklebumps says:

    Heehee! “So you like it spicy, eh?” What a little tart you are! 😉 Of course he would want to hang with you after that, because, that was just too cute! By the way, he looks gorgeous, even with the hat.

    • I was soooo embarrassed! Haha, sometimes those sorts of things just pop out of my mouth on their own accord. Ah, yes the hat. It’s a sort of a constant sore spot between the two of us. He has this really sexy gray one that he never wears anymore 😦 and instead where’s the ridiculous flat bill one (yuck) buuutttt he looked so damn yummy sitting on the couch, I had to snap a picture. =)

  3. brotheramun says:

    This was a great summation of meeting your boyfriend, I laughed hard! You made me remember the feelings I felt when I knew someone liked me but didn’t say it right away. Great Post!

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