I Love/Hate Snow

This Will Eventually Be Me

So Minnesota received their first snowfall this Saturday.

My town got 6-8 inches.

It was realllly pretty when it was falling and stuck in the trees and such.

I love the first snow.

Gives you that excited feeling in your tummy.

I start thinking about Christmas and being all warm and toasty inside with the Christmas lights on.

I think about my favorite peppermint candy canes and egg nog with cinnamon and hot chocolate.

I think about the crinkle of wrapping paper.

Of the excitement of waiting to open gifts.

Of making snowmen and catching snowflakes on my tongue and frost on the window.

I think about the magic Christmas seems to bring with it.

And then I think about driving.

And I come crashing down to reality.

I absolutely hate driving in the winter.

The roads are slippery with unseen black ice.

My car is about 30 years old and on its last leg.

It’s tires suck.

So I’m more prone to slip and slide sideways than the 2011’s on the road.

They go zipping by me like it’s no big deal.

Thinking their tires can handle that sneaky ice.

And there I pass them going my 25 mph a few miles later when they are in the ditch.

Yes, I drive like a Grandma.

I sit upright with both hands at 11 o’clock and 2 o’clock gripping the steering wheel.

I drive 30 in a 40.

And I don’t give a damn.

I am determined not to die.

Like on Sunday.

I had to drive a half hour to my G’mas for my niece’s birthday party.

The roads were “plowed” but there was still a good inch of packed snow on them and it was starting to melt, but still cold enough to make them slippery.

I drove 40mph all the way there.

It wasn’t too bad since there are only 3 major curves that I had to worry about and the traffic flow was pretty light.

Going home though was a whole nother issue.

I had to take a different way as we had to go to the BF’s parent’s house for his dad’s birthday party.

It was terrible.

I had a car on my ass the entire time I was driving to the highway.

So it was a whole 30 minutes of me driving 30 to 40 mph with my fingers clutching the wheel so tight my knuckles turned white.

My back was so tense it started spasming.

Terrible.

Terrible.

Terrible.

It probably wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t already terrified of driving.

I do not trust any of the other drivers on the road.

They all have evil glowing red eyes and a maniacal laugh.

All out to get me.

They know just the right moment to cause an accident.

Not looking left or right before turning.

Not stopping for the red light or stop sign.

Not being able to stay in their own lane.

Untrustworthy.

So this is my love/hate relationship with snow.

I love the feeling it gives when it falls.

But I hate what it does to my blood pressure once it’s on the roads.

I already know how I’m going to die.

It will be in January or February after a heavy snow.

There will be black ice underneath the freshly fallen snow.

And I will be driving.

The stress will cause my heart to squeeezzee itself really tight.

Trying to hide itself from the inevitable terror of the ice demons.

And then it will attack me.

It will be angry that I put it through this ordeal year after year after year.

And I will die.

In my car.

In winter.

On the ice.

What a sad way to go.

Maybe I’ll make sure to cause a ruckus on the way out.

Careen the car this way and that.

Maybe hit a few things along the way.

A few big things.

Like a donut shop.

Mmmmmm.

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About delightfulness

One sweet, quirky, delightful individual I am.
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8 Responses to I Love/Hate Snow

  1. mheretowrite says:

    There is no snow here. The only ice is in the fridge. I’ve never seen snow in my life!

  2. runitjojo says:

    I have a love/hate relationship with snow too. haven’t had the first of it yet, but i’m currently anxiously awaiting:)

  3. Java Girl says:

    We had a freak snowstorm back on Halloween. Very weird. Then again, we got hit by a freak earthquake followed by a hurricane. Awaiting alien invasion now. I am well prepared! I drive carefully too. I drive too carefully sometimes, but nothing bothers me more than someone really close to my bumper. I’ve had 3 people hit me from behind (all their fault). The dumbest one was when I was sitting still minding my own business and the lady behind me at the McD’s drive thru decides to “step on the wrong pedal” and slam into me. Then she took off! Without a trace! I was so mad!!

    • Holy crap! 3 times of being rear ended! You need a big protective box around your car! That lady must have been a little cookoo for McDonalds. Jeepers. And holy crap! No kidding about the alien invasion. If you see bright lights in the midnight sky…I’d think about hightailing it outta there!

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