WTF

So I am watching Beavis and Butthead with the BF while reading through Sparklebumps previous posts whhheeeennnnnnn they did a spoof on the Human Centipede movie.

I have heard the title and seen the movie case cover at the movie rental place but since I physically cannot watch movies like that (I will explain in a bit) I had no idea what the hell it was about.

They showed a scene with three people crying in the yard with two peoples faces in the other’s asses.

So I naturally asked the BF what the f*ck was going on.

He proceeded to explain that the basis of the movie was this scientist trying to connect people’s asses to other’s faces to make a “human centipede”.

So when the first human segment shits, it would go to the second segment and so on.

In the spoof the scientist guy was yelling at the first guy to “feed her”.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

What the fuck?!

Who the hell came up with this idea and thought “oh let’s make a movie out of that!”

And then…

Who the hell decided to actually direct this shit?

It’s gross.

Disgusting.

Impossible.

And sick.

And for people to actually rent and enjoy this crap is utter lunacy.

They need their fricken heads examined.

Same with all the other creepy and fucked-up shitty movies out there.

Why would you want to watch a movie that makes you feel like crap?

I love movies.

I’m a frequent user of the movie theater.

And I have a list of movies I need to watch and need to buy.

I love movies almost as much as I love books.

I love being able to feel like someone else.

Bluntly…to have my emotions manipulated.

But, I like leaving a movie feeling good or shocked or in awe or sad.

Not disgusted or sick to my stomach.

This Human Centipede movie writer needs to be shot in the knee and fed dog crap or something.

As to why I cannot physically watch these types of movies it is because of a previous babysitter.

I had to go to daycare when I was little and at one such establishments our “punishment” was a little unusal.

We were forced to sit in the living room and watch movies like Jason and Chuckie and Freddy.

I had daymares from this.

We were “forbidden” to say anything to our parents otherwise “they would be very mad at us” and we would not be allowed to come back and play with her puppies anymore.

Well I loved puppies so I didn’t say anything.

My mom figured out something was wrong after one night of waking up to me slashing a butter knife back and forth at the end of her bed.

After asking me what I was doing all I would say was, “I can’t let Chuckie kill you mommy. I have to kill him first.”

Since my mommy was a decent mommy and wouldn’t let me watch movies like that she woke me up and asked me where I had seen Chuckie.

And the story came out.

The next day, the City people were out at the daycare ladies house and I went there no longer.

It wasn’t until college that I found out that I have panic attacks whenever I catch a glimpse of Chuckie or Jason or Freddy.

There was the commercial for Chuckie’s Bride or whatever the next stupid movie was and I was sitting on the Ex’s couch.

Next thing I knew I was laying flat out on my back on the floor.

I had passed out.

It happened again when I went into Spencer’s and they had the Chuckie doll hanging in the corner.

My chest got really tight and I started back away and saying no, no, no.

Freaked the worker people out.

They had to call the mall paramedic guy or whatever.

Terrible.

So I implore you to boycott these movies.

You will make the world a much better place.

Where people’s faces don’t get sewn to another’s ass so they can eat each other’s shit.

There’s already enough of that going on in this world.

Figuratively.

We don’t need it presented to our eyeballs in raw form.

Advertisements

About delightfulness

One sweet, quirky, delightful individual I am.
This entry was posted in December and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to WTF

  1. sparklebumps says:

    Oh my gosh that movie sounds so disgusting that I think I might have to watch it. Because I’m fucked up and shit. I did hear it was banned in the UK. I really don’t want to watch it, but now I don’t think I can resist. How disturbed would you be to find out there was a sequal?

    • A Sequel!? -I think I just threw up in my mouth. I shall have to research this ban they placed on the movie. I doubt it would happen in the US. Free Speech and all the jazz. Still super grosses me out. If there was a sequel, I may have to take a bunch of drugs to make me go all crazy to gain enough courage to go shoot the writer/director/actors in the knees myself. I promise to send postcards from jail!

  2. Gillian Colbert says:

    That movie was actually banned and they had to cut it and re-do it just to get a rating. I stopped watching horror movies after Silent Night, Deadly Night where a crazed psycho santa kills a bunch of kids. I’m totally with you, these movies don’t serve a purpose.

  3. Apparently, South Park did a spoof on this movie. I haven’t seen it but I heard about it. I enjoy “suspensful” movies but not “horror” movies. Fun post!

  4. Phlegethon says:

    I totally know what you mean, I was disturbed for days after I read an article describing the movie, I’m so glad I wasn’t exposed to any stills from it. Ugh *shudder*

  5. Java Girl says:

    I’ve heard of the title of the movie “The Human Centipede”, but have never known what it was about. Sounds pretty disturbing. The last horror movie I saw was “The Grudge”-never again! Being that I was already living in a very haunted house, the “sound” of the growl was heard in my bedroom that same night. I can handle haunted houses, but not horror films as they seem to be full of blood, guts and people moving in very unhuman ways. Great post!!

  6. H.E. ELLIS says:

    I grew up in the south, and there is a rumor about a woman from New Orleans who used to keep slaves in her attic and torture them by doing weird experiments. One of them was the human centipede, so not only is this writer disgusting, he’s not even creative. Double fail.

Leave a thought.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s