I have so many thoughts I want to blog about buuuuut not enough time to categorize them.
So here is my Hodge Podge of a post of all my inane thoughts.
#1: My weird dream.
I had a very very strange dream last night I would like to share with you so you can see how F*d up my mind is sometimes.
I was in a cafe in Paris (I was a dude) when a little gnat bug thing flew by my ear and another citizen at a table snickered and said it was a “buggy season”. I was confused and went to sit down across from my beautiful blonde date. The clock struck 12 and as it started ringing my date and the people around me started turning into these blue sapphire gnat bugs and flying up to the clock which resembled Big Ben…twice the size. They assembled themselves around the face of the clock and started chanting “One by one we become undone” and then hopping on top of each other to stack themselves into a shape I could not determine. So I started running and suddenly fell through a cloud where I met five other people who had no idea what was going on. They nominated me as their leader so I began leading them through this abandoned subway type of thing with this big swirling mist on the side of it that was forbidden for anyone of the city to touch. Well after a while we became hungry but all there was was rotting garbage everywhere and we kept passing this one pile with a huge rotting pumpkin on it that would have been mouth-watering if ripe. Well we had this impending sense of doom that those sapphire bug things were waiting for someone they needed to show themselves before they attacked to kidnap that person to complete their organism of glittering jewels. Well is just so happened that I tripped on a rotten banana peel and slipped into the swirling mist where Yoda (yep the little green dude from Star Wars) told me it was ME they wanted but I had to realize who I was first and that when I climbed out of the mist I would be able to do things with my mind that I had never imagined before. So after this little chit-chat, I crawled out of the mist with my posse staring at me like I had a third head because I had come back from the mist alive, and stared at the ginormous pumpkin and imagined it whole and ripe again. Before my eyes the pumpkin began repairing itself until it was ripe enough to split open. We devoured it but made sure to keep it hollow so we could hide inside when the sapphire bug things came. And then we heard them clinking and clanking as they started to buzz because I had finally realized who I was and they wanted to kidnap me. Then I woke up.
It was very strange.
And no, I have no idea where to begin deciphering the damn thing.
So there are a few things I expect from my friendships.
Now I haven’t had many close friendships in the past. I’d say maybe two. And I try to be a good friend. I may not be the best, but I try. And I know I have made quite a few mistakes along the way, but aren’t friends suppose to forgive you for those and love you anyways?
One of the things that bother me is that I make an effort to write letters to those friends who no longer live close to me. I wrote them a lot in the beginning and two of them replied back…for a while. Then all of a sudden..nothing. I sent out two letters and didn’t even get confirmation that they were received. And truth be told, I got tired of asking all the time if they got them. Started to feel like an ass. Which is totally backwards if you think about it. Then I had this brilliant idea of sending a “friend package” which took me almost three weeks to complete. A friend package is a huge manila envelope filled to the brim with stuff that made you think about that person. It was filled with poems, pictures, magazine cut-outs, cute sparkly things, beads, fabric, this and thats….fun stuff. Now I sent this out and was irked when it was received and I didn’t get confirmation. I was anxious about it since I had spent so much time making the darn thing. Well because of this, I have several beautiful cards that are waiting to go out…but no one I want to send them to really. Which is sad because the art of writing letters is a dying art.
I also think communication needs to be a two-part endeavour. I admit, I kind of suck at it. Buuut when I have a few minutes I will send out a text and when I only get short snippets of a response it kind of kills the ambition. Or when I get a response two days later…
No, I do not need to know what’s going on in their lives every second of every day but an update would be nice when something major happens like a car accident or when their phone goes through the washer. And what really sucks is finding out most of this shit through Twitter. I mean really? I must not mean that much to them anymore if they can’t even tell me through a text or Facebook or Tweet directly at me for Pete’s sake.
Now I have come to these realizations about this in the past few weeks after getting to know Sparklebumps. Today was friggen amazing. We met at a local coffee shop. I brought her some books to read and we had a lovely conversation over my chocolate tai tea with whipped cream and drizzled chocolate (her beverage of choice was almost gone by the time I got there whoops!) Then we went off to the cutest little odds and ends shop and spent an hour browsing and talking. After this it was off to an amazing clothing shop were we browsed some more and tried on clothing and inevitably left with a few new items that we didn’t need but looked oh so good in. Next was some food and R&R at my place (which I am very thankful that she didn’t ask me why there was a mirror in front of the shitter. For the record, I live in a handicapped made apartment so I’m assuming they put said mirror in front of the shitter so a wheelchair can fit inbetween the pot and the mirror allowing the person to put on makeup and reach shit, not to look at yourself when pooping) before she had to jet off to be a Pizza Slut.
Now this was a change of having someone actually wanting to spend time with me and listening to what I have to say. Aaannnnd she actually replies to my texts! Amazing!
And since we have lots in common and bought pretty things together and shared some french fries, I sincerely believe this is the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship.
I love volunteering.
I get to go be a kid again.
Tonight was so freaking awesome. I get there and immediately a little boy whom I am very fond of waddles over and reaches his little arms up to me to hold him.
I pick him up and after a bit he gets sleepy and rests his head on my shoulder.
This makes my mom clock scream “HAVE A DAMN BABY ALREADY! YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANY OLDER YOU HAG!”
She’s very mean.
Well his mommy comes and he leaves so I play with the other little munchkins till snack time.
I noticed this little boy, he must be about 4, that was really shy and had a hard time speaking.
It was like his little words were stuck in his throat.
So I bend down and get down on his level and just start talking away.
“Hi little man. What’s your name? Oh yes I know! Let me guess. X? Nooo that’s not right? Y? Nooo that’s not right either. Ooo! Is is C?! Yes! It is! Well nice to meet you C, I’m Delightfulness. My favorite color is purple. I really like your shirt. It has dinosaurs on it. Dinosaurs are so cool. Do you like dinosaurs? Yes! Awesome! Me too! What else do you like? Hmm let me guess? Cars? Yes? Awesome! I love cars too. Mine has a pink sticker on it. Hahaha, yes I know that’s silly. Are you hungry? We are having freezies tonight. If you tell me your favorite color, I can get you one. Is it red? No? Blue? No? Orange? No? Yellow? Yes? Yellow is your favorite color? No way little man! Yellow is the color of sunshine! Let’s go get you some sunshine.
So I get him some frozen sunshine.
He slurps it up and then it is almost time for me to go so I ask him if he’s ever been an airplane before.
He shakes his little head no and so I scoop him up and start flying his around with his arms outstretched while making “Neeeaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr. Rreeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrr. Zzzzzzoooommmmmm.” noises.
He starts giggling and when I set him down to leave, he runs over and hugs my legs.
So fricken cute.
So now I want my own babies.
Where’s the BF…?
I must get started right away!
Scuse me, I will be back shortly.