Ok my lovelies…
I will finally post about my Vegas adventures.
I apologize for the delay.
I’ve been quite a busy gal!
I finally have a full-time job!
No more 8 hours a week PCAing…
No more hellish Pizza Hut (I have no idea how Sparklebumps does it…)…
So now that my life is sort of getting back on track, it is time to tell of my adventures. =)
Well I worked half a day before I raced home, finished packing, jumped in the car with the BF and took off for the cities.
I forgot a few essentials however.
Yes, a toothbrush is very important in a strange hotel in Vegas where furry teeth are not acceptable (Neither are furry vajayjay’s).
A black jacket.
A n.e.c.e.s.s.i.t.y in my wardrobe.
And I forgot the damn thing!
I was so mad at myself.
Yep…half-way through the flight as I was reading my very lovely and very smutty book (right smack dab in the middle of the steamy sex scene) I realized..I had forgot the condoms.
I was very worried I wouldn’t be able to find any on the strip.
Good thing the good people of Walgreens anticipated this sort of thing and dedicated a whole section to the wonderful world of ribbed, lubricated, twisted, and tingly rubbers.
We arrive at 8:00pm Vegas time which is 10:00pm my hometown time.
I was pooped as I hate flying and didn’t catch a wink (the BF however seems to have no problem sleeping the entire flight).
Buuuut it was our first night in Vegas and I wasn’t going to spend it sleeping!
We decided it would be prudent to walk the strip for a while and check things out.
The. Lights. Were. Amazing.
And not a lot of people, which was nice.
I especially loved the idea of using escalators to carry my little body up and down and down and up to get to all the wonderful hotels on the strip.
FLIP. FLIP. FLIP FLIP FLIP. FLIPFLIPFLIPFLIP.
Nudey card after nudey card was shoved in my face trying to tempt me into calling one of the numbers on the card and having a lovely largely endowed Priscilla show up at my door and tantalize me with her hooha.
Unfortunately, the good parts had these cartoony stars strategically placed over them…so I could not see if her hooha or tata’s were worth it. (Sorry Priscilla)
I am very certain that if I were to live in Vegas and frequent the strip…jail would be my new friend.
I would very sincerely and without regret punch one of these flipper people in the face.
After a little jaunt on the town, we went to sleep to get up bright and early and start the day.
We walked the entire strip going in and out of the different hotels.
Eiffel Tower, New York New York, Balley’s…all the way to Manteray Bay.
I was very happy they were smart enough to have trams to carry us through the last three hotels before Manteray Bay because my feet were ready to fall off and kick me in the face for torturing them so.
I would have to say New York New York was by far my favorite hotel.
The inside was decorated like a 1920’s New York with apartments painted Robin’s Egg Blue, Charcoal Black, and Blushing Pink with little shop windows that resembled magic shops, tarot card readings, and cafes.
It was charming.
What sealed the deal was on our last day we went there to try and find something to eat before our flight.
We found a little hole in the wall hot dog stand that seemed Delighfulness friendly (no wheat).
The lady behind the counter was my counterpart in Delighfulness!
She cut my hot dog up in pieces (first time ever) and told me she would “take care of me”.
This is what she meant.
Shredded Cheddar Cheese.
This was heavenly!
No one had ever given this much thought to my food.
She made it taste good.
I think I fell in love.
Saturday night was David Copperfield.
I think I hyped him up toooooo much.
I mean…the man made a plane disappear for crying out loud!
His show was okay.
He did make a car appear.
And he did a trick where an origami folded butterfly became a real butterfly..which was pretty and such.
After the show, we walked around a bit again and grabbed some food before sleepy time.
Then it was Saturday.
And I was stoked!
Why you may ask?
PENN AND TELLER THAT’S WHY!!!
I love these guys.
Ever since their show Bullshit, I have been a little obsessed with Penn.
And the BF’s dad bought us tickets with super awesome seats!
We were in the first section close to the stage.
And the show was amazing.
Their magic was shocking.
Their act was shocking.
They were shocking.
And I loved every.single.bit.of.it.
If you have never seen Penn&Teller, I suggest you YouTube some of their stuff.
You will get a taste of their philosophy and beliefs.
One part of their show is still making me think.
They bought their own metal detector (the large square ones) and called an audience member onstage to use a handheld one as well.
Penn walked through the large square one…
It didn’t beep.
The audience member wanded over his breast pocket…
It didn’t beep.
Penn pulled out a regular plastic comb.
He said that TSA’s job was to “weed” out the bad ones and let through the good ones.
Then he popped the comb apart and there was a very sharp, very dangerous looking knife concealed inside.
What a joke.
Which reminds me….
Put lotion containing glycerin on your hands before going through security…
You will be pulled into a very private little room in front of everyone for your very own special pat down…..
Hands up the crotch from an old lady is not especially arousing….
Anyways, back to the show.
The greatest part about their show is that they are kind enough to meet us in the hallways for pictures.
I almost keeled over when we made it to Penn.
He is so very tall!!
As we were having the picture taken….
I stood on my tippy toes.
I had to level the playing field somehow.
I’m pretty sure my head would have been cut off in the photo if I did not do so.
This action elicited a chuckle from Mr. Penn.
I’m still giddy over it.
Our last day.
We checked out of the hotel and meadered around a bit before decided to put a few bucks in one of the machines.
The BF put in $1 and won $45…
The BF put in $1 and lost $45…
And that was our gambling experience in Las Vegas.
We are awesome aren’t we?
Too much to do and too much to see then to sit down and gamble for hours.
Plus neither one of us has the mula to risk losing.
After my scrumptious dinner at New York New York we went back to our hotel and sat down and played games for an hour or so before our shuttle arrived to take us back the airport.
In case you are ever stuck in the Maraccan airport in Vegas bored out of your ever lovin mind…try the slots.
Yes, they have slots waiting for you in the airport….
Another helpful hint…always double and triple check your gate information.
It’s very embarrassing having your name called over the intercom for a final boarding warning and having to race down the hallway to make it to the plane before the bloody thing takes off without you…
I was signed up to receive text alerts with any flight changes…
I guess that service excludes gate changes.
We arrived home safe at 2am.
Drove home in a snow storm with freezing rain..
But as you can see I am alive.
I survived Vegas.
And I have Priscilla in my back pocket pressing her very large tata’s against my luscious tushie.
If you see a short blondie walking down the street with an impish grin…
You may be rest assured that Priscilla is earning her keep.